Dear Miss Jones,
Here’s an idea for a post: Where should I be… online? I’m a single
LDS guy that is uncomfortable enough in large groups to make it
impossible to successfully meet people in the generally accepted LDS
ways (FHE groups, Linger Longers, YSA Conferences, etc.) And so I’ve
started to wonder if I might have more luck online. But I’ve never
gotten past the sign up page on a dating site because they all seem
like big sleazy scams (even the supposedly LDS ones). I know there are
lots of good LDS girls out there, are any of them online? And if so,
Okay Mr. Eremite, I’ve got to be honest, I’m probably not the best one to answer this question because I don’t have any personal experience with online dating. But I’m going to answer it anyway because I’m Miss Jones and I can.
Online Dating has such a stigma attached to it, which really is sad because I know TONS of happy couples who met online. I think that this stigma is sort of fading but it still is hard to actually jump into the online world of dating.
Okay, so the bad thing about online dating is that people can really be whatever they want to be online. You can photoshop the heck out of your photos and all of a sudden instead of a Mr. Bean type you are suddenly Brad Pitt’s long lost twin. And you can say whatever you want to say about your level of church activity, hobbies, beliefs, previous marital status, etc. So it may be hard to really know if what you are seeing online about a person is the truth. That’s one of the reasons I have yet to go to online dating.
And you are right…even some of the LDS dating sites seem a little cheesy/sleezy to me.
HOWEVER, one good thing about online dating is that most people that are online really are wanting to DATE. With the exception of the major PLAYERS that I’m sure are online, I think that most online daters are there because they are really ready to meet the right person. They, like you, have either tried everything else or don’t do well with the typical LDS scenarios for meeting people. That is one really nice thing about dating online. I think that when people get to the point that they actually put that profile up, they are serious and ready for dating/relationships.
So I would say to you, go online. Ask people that you know have done online dating which sites they would recommend. And in your online profile just be yourself and represent yourself honestly and I think that you’ll find that there probably are a lot of girls out there that are honest, good LDS girls who just haven’t had the best of luck with typical dating scenarios either. And lucky for you you’re a guy and so you probably aren’t going to get jumped in a dark alley by someone you meet online.
Oh, and just as another suggestion, if you aren’t one that does well with big groups, create situations for yourself where you can get to know people a few at a time. You don’t only have to rely upon big church/YSA functions. For example, have a couple of guys friends and maybe a few girls that you are interested in getting to know a little better over for a game night or desert night. Plan small group activities with people you have fun with/girls you are interested in. And better yet, ask a girl out on a date…one on one is a pretty nice sized group to get to know someone in. Just a thought…
Let us know how it goes and what you find. And if any of you blog readers have suggestions regarding online dating or know of specific sites that you would recommend, please leave us a comment and let us know your thoughts.