Posted by: Lula in London | November 7, 2007

Dating is not a big deal, it’s just the key to everything.

Dating is not a big deal, yet it is the focus of our existence. We don’t want it to be, but it’s made that way by CES firesides, relatives and the people who like to remind you that they used to change your diapers every time you visit your home ward.

The CES fireside in a nutshell
“If you don’t date, you won’t marry, and then you will be subject to questions about that from every member of the church until you die. And then after you die, you will be asked about why you didn’t date or get married. But we love you anyway…I mean we love you…I mean date so you can find out what love is.”

My favorite CES fireside was a couple of years ago that showed this graph:

“The strength of the physical body peaks near 30 years of age. It is well documented that muscular strength in both males and females begins a long descent after 30 as the body slowly deteriorates until death occurs.4

Where are you on the graph? You are all near or approaching the peak. Since most in the audience tonight are under 30, note that you have only experienced increasing physical strength. For the most part, you only know what it is like to become stronger and stronger. But just wait. It will not be many years before all of you will be over the hill and on a downward course. What will it be like then?

Is it any wonder that many of life’s key decisions are made during the period from age 18 to age 30? You are nearing peak strength. You feel indestructible! Death is some distant event that may never occur. From a physical point of view, the 20s are a particularly important time to marry and begin a family because you are in good health and will have the energy required to raise a family in the decades that follow.”

Message: Get married while you are strong enough to make babies. We’ve now got charts to prove it. Oh, and you can’t live beyond age 80.

Relatives, Neighbors and Your Married Friends
These people are on the lookout to get you a man. Anyone they know that is about your age and single now becomes a potential mate for you. Your newly married friends are now the poster child for marriage and urge you to just ‘get married’ because hey, they did it so why can’t you? It’s easy. All you have to do is find someone and then say “yes” at the right time. And, if you get along really well, have the same goals in life and are attracted to eachother then that’s even better.

The Home Ward
These people know you well, a little too well. They’ve heard some things from your mom in Relief Society and they know just what to say to you next time they see you. These are the famous questions with no answers: “Why aren’t you dating anyone?” “Do you know you’re not getting any younger?” “Isn’t there anyone you like?” Sometimes they ask about work or school, but you know they really are itching to give you dating advice and perhaps remind you that your salvation is on the line, because maybe you forgot about that.

So with pressure like this, why don’t guys ask girls out on dates? Well maybe it’s because when they do the next question is “Oh so you’re dating? When are you going to get married? Do you think she is the One?” No one says “Oh so you’re hanging out, when is the Big Day?” and that road has a lot less pressure.

The solution? Unionize or come up with a new word for “dating.”



  1. I vote for unionizing!

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