Single’s wards are a strange oddity in the Mormon world. Unlike most wards, there is no Primary, no Young Men’s or Young Women’s classes, but you do have the choice of usually 3 Sunday School classes to choose from. And most of the callings from the Relief Society manual, plus a few more are used up. I for one was given the task of ‘literacy coordinator’ in a university ward. A calling usually reserved for wards where members may not know how to read, or there is a need in the community. I got creative with that one. “If you can’t read this, please give me a call.”

My time in single’s wards was great. I liked being with people in my age group and my stage of life. People could relate to eachother and there were lots of opportunities to meet people at the additional church meetings, made just for wards of this nature: ward prayer, linger longer/break the fast/munch and mingle, and the almost weekly relief society enrichments, stake activities or ward events.

Why the additional meetings? To give the singles a chance to realize the marriage potential in eachother. There aren’t many opportunities to propose during Church, so there are activities to supplement this. This really is the main goal of a single’s ward…besides the whole spiritual strength part.

Ward Prayer
This is when after a few hours of being home from Church, you come back in the evening in your casual clothes and have a brief devotional. This usually includes introducing an apartment of girls and an apartment of boys, singing a hymn, having a prayer and sharing a spiritual thought. The ‘rebel’ people of the ward usually stay home or are on the prowl in their own way. But it can be a good laugh. You get out of this what you put into it.

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Staying after Church and eating free food
Much like they do to lure animals in the wild with raw meat so they can be more easily observed, the bishopric will assign a committee of single people to produce food to lure in the men. Food usually does the trick to help even out the male / female ratio, usually called the Linger Longer or the Munch and Mingle. If it is held on a fast Sunday, it’s called Break the Fast, and can be cruel when you smell potatoes and chili cooking during Sunday School. This can be a good opportunity to meet people. Try and mix up where you sit and don’t stay with the same crowd. It’s also easier to identify the new people in the ward this way, where you can all face eachother instead of see the back of their heads during church. Sometimes the Bishopric will take the opportunity to encourage dating and mention it in a speech while the animals are pacified eating their potato filled with toppings.

To show that the type of bait you use is important, I remember a Linger Longer where their was an assortment of cold cereals for people to eat. No one stayed very long for that. That is what we eat when there isn’t a Linger Longer.

Enrichment
These can vary as much as the personalities of the Relief Society Presidents. Some of them are their mothers in embryo, and will go to extremes to make a wonderful activity, while others are fine with the simple route. I worked with one girl that asked me to see if I could get Sheri Dew to come to a Book of Mormon Symposium (that I would organize and put on myself). I asked her if I should invite Donny Osmond to sing, but she thought it wouldn’t set the right mood. I don’t think she quite got my humor.

I also had another person drop off a block of cheese as long as my arm a few hours before the activity and asked if I could grate it. I accepted the challenge, went down to the cheese factory and traded in the block for a package of shredded cheese. Overall message: don’t wear yourself out for the details.

Stake events
These can vary from dances to relay races, to firesides (talks of a spiritual nature, usually focused on “hey I’ve got an idea! Why don’t you get married?). Sometimes I wonder if they make a deal with newly called Bishops that if all of the singles get married, they are done with their calling. But there are several events focused on service: putting together hygiene kits, painting toys for children, and decorating boys doors for Valentines.

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“Marriage, Why not?”
This topic is brought up whenever possible but not to a breaking point. Special Sunday School combined Relief Society talks, Sunday firesides and Ward activities. I went to an activity once that was the extreme of this experience, so I’ll share a story:

The fireside was announced as a “special event” with the topic not shared. They knew if people knew what it was about, we’d spot the fake bait and run. It was for the whole Stake to attend. An older couple who had been married for 40 years were the two speakers of the meeting. When they introduced themselves, they were highschool sweethearts, that married within months of the husband returning from his mission. They were now ready to begin their talk on how older singles can find love.

Now, these people were great, well intentioned and worked hard to prepare their message. A lot of it was universal, but it was hard for both parties to relate to eachother. Getting married at 18, you would have never been in a single’s ward, dated much, or had to put up with well intentioned people trying to get you married. After their polite but very directed talks, they opened the dividers behind us and fed us ice cream sandwiches. And then over the microphone told us that these talks and free food weren’t for nothing and asked the women to get on one side and the men on the other. And then commanded us to mix up and introduce ourselves to someone new. In protest most of us turned to our friends and faked not knowing the other until they let us go. Nobody likes being forced to get together. It’s almost like your parents putting you together with a boy you’ve never seen before and saying “Okay make-out now, in front of us.” For those of you who have experienced this, you know it can be at times, awkward.

And a last note, this time on this blog as a whole. This is a light-hearted look at the single situation. It’s meant to put some humor on a sometimes uncomfortable time of life, and maybe shed some light into the corners to help understand it better. It’s strange, but it’s not bad. You can survive anything with a little humor and this is definitely one of those times to use it as much as you can! So, don’t be depressed. With a few more activities and some food you too will find your eternal companion in a matter of weeks. Your married at 18 leaders are sure of it.

Photos: Found on Flickr.com